This is the Unofficial Version…AKA “The Scoop… RAW and Uncensored” oh and spoilers at the end… just saying 🙂
Growing up, I remember so vividly, praying before I went to sleep, that when I woke up, I would be someone else. I wanted to be that girl across the street, whose mother looked after her; or the girl whose dad made sure she made it to school safely. In truth, I would have settled for just being the girl who had food everyday and wasn’t being tormented and exploited by a family member and others in the neighbor.
I had this one friend who lived down the street from me. She was Hispanic; her house was always so clean, her brothers so happy and her mother made her dinner. We weren’t in the same class though, and in elementary school, not being in the same class, was like living in another city. We didn’t play together in school, but you better believe, that when we got off that bus, I went straight to her house.
I think her mother felt sorry for me, because I was the “stinky kid”… that’s what you are when no one is really looking after you. It was in the moments at my elementary bffs house, that it was clear to me, that I was ugly, stinky and unlovable.
After all, I must be worthless, why else, would I be living in this dirty house and no one taking care of me??? Well, except on Sundays, when we would all pretend to be “normal”. My father, a highly educated man was a Pastor, who had NO interest in being a parent or a husband.
Sadly, my mother knew this, but was so desperate for love (since her family sucked), accepted his disdain for her, and would spend the next 50+ years of her life, trying to get him to “love” her… or heck, for anyone to “love her”… wait, for God to “deliver her” would be more accurate. In the African-American culture, we pray and literally WAIT and SUFFER while God delivers us… and by “us” I mean them, because this African-American is down with the proverb- “pray and move your feet”. LOL Heck, even in the Bible, it says, “faith without works is dead…” but I digress. LOL
My mother a dutiful pastor’s wife, was a choir director and he (I don’t call him Dad) preached every Sunday, and dragged all of us kids with him. We would put on our “good” clothes… and on the way to church, we were reminded as some sort of ritual, “What goes on in this house, stays in this house”. I remember repeating it with her, and being “rewarded” with memorizing that family mantra.
So… let’s see, life lessons to that point- I am unlovable, worthless, a whore (more on that to come), dirty, and no one can know… I must keep secrets and appear perfect, no matter how unhappy I was and manipulation is a good thing… got it, CHECK.
Certainly, my life was not the worst out there, but it sure was sucky living through it. Thankfully, I was quite athletic and most importantly, had a knack for consuming information with little to know effort. Ok, I’ll say it, I was smart. Doing well in school, allowed me to go from being the stinky kid, to the smart stinky kid. YAY! Still I had a lot of secrets, and you know how it is with secrets… it’s a lot of work to be around people.
Remember what I said about being a “whore”… well, I thought I was. I was the “fast” kid… In the African-American community, the “fast” kid, was the kid that mothers didn’t want their sons and daughters hanging out with because, I was acting “fast” [too grown up, acting out like an adult, but VERY much a child]. Certainly, they didn’t want their boys to be with a fast girl, and their daughters to become one. I get it now, but at the time, it reinforced my isolation, and not fitting it.
So, here I was only 5-6 years old, totally conflicted, as basically all of the neighborhood MUCH older boys and a family member, were doing things to my 5 year old self. It was confusing, because on the one hand, since NO one was paying attention to me at home, I liked the attention, and it felt “good” physically… inside it sucked because I really didn’t want to do those things, in as much as a 5 year old can want to do anything. I just wanted someone to love and value me; only at 5 you don’t really know those words, right?
Needless to say, the abuse in various forms and men, culminated in a violent attack when I was around 10 years old by a neighbor. By this point, abuse was just a way of being for me. It would continue well into my early teens. Sadly, my parents were more concerned about me going to church on Sunday and no one finding out, than prosecuting the perpetrator of the violent attack and me getting help. I was convinced of and convinced by some “family” members that it was my fault… naturally since I was “fast” and all).
Check this out, the guy who violently assaulted me, lived across the street and I had to walk in front of his house every day to get to school. His brother, would record on his boom box “Tiphanie is a whore, she is ugly” and make it repeat. The whole neighborhood heard that. Gosh, if I close my eyes today, I can still hear that.
The funny thing is, my father was home every day and could’ve gotten up and driven me down the street to school or just walked with me. After all, he saw me the night of the attack with semen on my legs and my clothes ripped… but no, he slept in and I had to walk to school alone being tormented. Gosh, the things people would say to me.
Basically, the whole neighborhood and a close “family” member were against me and it was their mission in life to make sure I wished I was never born. Sometimes, instead of going to school I would pretend and just go around back, climb through a window and hide under my bed.
Lesson- I am a whore, ugly, unlovable and worthless, but smart 😉 Thank God for that, or else, who knows where I would have ended up.
Even though I was friendly, I had NO friends… it’s hard to have friends, when you are holding so many secrets inside. Gosh, if those “pure” friends fond out, that I was allowing (as much as a child can allow abuse, UGH) to do things to me, then they wouldn’t want to be my friend either… cementing the idea, that basically, I was a stinky, smart, unlovable kid, that was ugly and worthless.
Unsurprisingly, my childhood left my identity, self-esteem and worth in tatters. For years to come, I believed I was not worthy of anything good, that the opinions of others mattered more than my own opinion. I am sure it will not come as any surprise that I believed that I was responsible for ALL bad things in life from the point of my conception forward and to hide the truth of who I was and wanted to be; sadly, my beliefs were not limited to those I highlighted. Notwithstanding my educational pursuits of undergraduate, graduate and law school, my misguided perceptions of self, ruled every aspect of my life, from bad relationships, paralyzing fears and self -sacrifice, to emotional numbness, self-hatred, condemnation and punishment. What can I say, I HATED being Tiphanie K. Jamison ( Sidenote- if you can relate and want a cool way to get rid of the Yuck… get the RADICAL Self-Expert Book now…
Dang man, it just seemed like everyone had everything figured out. You know what I mean? I would be like, where can I get some of that “stuff” called happiness, confidence, self-worth.
I was killing myself trying to be like everyone else. You know, get me a little of that “good life” action. Even the parts of me that were tolerable by me, had to go. I tried to not like the “kind” of men I was attracted to [white guys;)]. Later in law school, I tried to want to be like the other law students who wanted to work a traditional law gig. I tried to go to therapy and groups for abuse survivors… Just a side note, therapy was NOT covered by insurance; this was all out of pocket. LOL
Man, I was literally killing myself trying to “be like them”. Every time something didn’t work, I would just feel wrong. Like, there is something wrong with me, because I can’t seem to fit in. It never occurred to me until later, that maybe the wrongness, was actually a “rightness” I was not allowing myself to perceive. I think about all that I accomplished because I followed my own path, and clearly my “misfit-ness” was serving me. We never see that at the time, right? Haha…
As I said, I have always been a bit of an outsider… I mean, heck, who else, opens a law office with o practice, no desire to practice law, no experience, no mentor and hires a nursing student as her paralegal? Crazy right? Even when I went to court, I stuck out. Not intentionally of course, but clueless as to how to NOT stick out… Here is a photo of me coming back from court…
Fast forward a few years, and I open this law practice because I thought it would be “cool” to have a law practice. Cool is always a great reason to do something big, right? LOL
Here are some funky pics of me in the office…
Yes, I wore jeans every day except court days… and I avoided court like the plague. When I discovered “Appearance Counsel”, I thought I found the key to practicing law without practicing law, YAY! LOL
Well, I successfully ran my practice for years, before meeting someone on the internet. YAY internet dating! HUGE fan of internet dating. Despite it not going so well for me, I am still a fan! 😉 I look at internet dating like democracy. It’s not the system that’s broken, its the people in it. LOL
We knew each other a grand total of 5 days before saying “I do”. He said I was his dream woman and I said, “ok”. LOL For the record, this was one of the worst decisions of my life. I would later have to fight the fight of Me-Dependence again, but more on”Me-Dependence” in Chapter 2 of this get the scoop bio. The spoilers for Chapter 2 are below. 😉 There is a great quote about… what you don’t repair, you repeat….. or something like that. More to the point, my healing actually made me perfect prey… but again, that’s for Chapter 2. 😉
This was the beginning of ME. I lost 3 babies consecutively. Then I met someone who introduced me to the Secret. I was like, oh that’s, it, I just need a vision board and positive thoughts and I am in like Flynn… We went to Europe for IVF, came back pregnant with twins, YAY… but on the day of my baby shower, I went into VERY premature labor and lost those babies as well. Come to find out, that one of the babies had an infection caused by a doctor’s error. Oh my gosh…. I was beyond devastated, but that is when I said ENOUGH! Well, the enough came after I blamed myself, wondered what I did wrong, why other people get babies and the good life but not me…. Of, and the old reliable- why is God punishing me.
Finally, I just asked two simple questions- “What would it take for me to gets some babiessssss?????!!!!!! And what is it going to take for me to have some of that good life action?” The question was like a YES to the Universe… remember, its ASK and you shall receive, not CONCLUDE and you shall receive. Haha… so simple right? Besides, I was asking the wrong questions… ASK and you shall receive cuts both ways, believe that. This sparked a tidal wave for me later on… find out more in the book…
So after watching some Thomas Jefferson, I proclaimed– Tiphanie BE FREE! I said, “I am NOT listening to ANYONE but ME. I am the damn Expert, period.” It was sort of a Declaration of “ME Dependence” haha… so after leaving my practice we decided to go back to the Netherlands… oh I guess I should have mentioned that my then husband was Dutch- I figured you got that from the whole “VanDerLugt” thing… (If You want to Declare Your Independence… get the book now.)
**FYI: That whole story of recovery from yet another abusive relationship and finally breaking the cycle is best left for “Chapter 2” of this bio. LOL Suffice it to say that a journey to healing is never a straight line. One thing I also learned in the process… never give away your awareness to “help” someone else. Your awarenesses and “ahas” are your guides; something also addressed in Chapter 2. 😉
Well, after declaring my Me-Dependence within weeks of arriving I was pregnant with Bliss and Strycker. YAY! Wait, I need to say, that once I declared MY status as a SELF-EXPERT, all of the “breeding” synchronicities lined up for me. I stumbled on an alternative remedy that stops contractions. YES! It’s a natural herb that prevents (most) miscarriages. In my case, it worked. YAY! Even when the Dutch doctors were trying to tell me what to do, I was like, “hmmm, NOPE, not doing that!” Speaking up to a perceived authority is huge for me.
After a few scares and loads of techniques that I share in The Book on Pregnancy After Loss: The Exact Life-Changing Tools, Techniques, and Supplements I Used to Go From Losing 5 Babies to Safely Delivering 3 Healthy Babies All in Less Than 3.5 Years with Ease and Confidence.
I delivered Bliss and Strycker not without almost dying but still they are here. It was truly the first time I ever fell in love. I had NO IDEA what love was or is… Even now, I am constantly wondering, “do they feel I love them… do they KNOW they are loved?” Reflecting back on my life and my abusive relationships, I know can certainly appreciate the importance of feeling loved, but I digress.
Any who, within six months of their birth, I was pregnant with Spring… YAY! Funny, Spring was born 5 days after my birthday. She is a constant reminder of what I could have been… she paints rainbows and smiles… and I think, if I had a safe place without abuse, with a mom… would I feel so free? Talk about a gift?
I refer to the babies as “The Natives”…. not sure how it came about. Through them I heal me. YAY! It wasn’t until I was free of that family dynamic though that I was able to experience them.
Going through all of those things, despite all of my personal growth work, got me thinking… Who else is suffering from “wrongness” and self-sabotage despite their hard work, visions boards and positive thinking? I would wonder, “how many more of us are there in the world who are desperate to be true to self , and want to stop failing at trying to be like everyone else and start succeeding at being our true self…
As I connected with more “personal development misfits”, I made it my mission to create a new paradigm. Enough with the “be like her” and you will be successful… I want anyone who will listen to know that there was nothing wrong with them…. They are just fighting against their own truth… and the more they fight who they are, the more they will suffer.
And so… The YAY Me University & the RADICAL Self-Expert Method were born… My aim to facilitate self-expertise, so that women + cool men, save themselves time, energy and money, by knowing what decisions to make, actions to take, and what is right for you with ease and confidence. True Self + True Wealth = Days Filled with YAY! ~The Easy Way!
If you have read this far… cool beans. It was kind of cool sharing. Can you imagine… this was the extremely abbreviated version? LOL This wasn’t even the cliff notes! Oh and as I said, this is merely Chapter 1. LOL
So, if you want to ROCK YOUR LIFE as only YOU CAN and live your truth… please sign up to stay connected with me. Share this page with your friends, family, enemies… HAHA… There is another way to be, and it doesn’t involve trying to be like someone else… You have a right to be the Expert in Your Life!
Sending All Kinds of YAY Your Way,
P.S. Teaser/Spoiler Alert
Chapter 2 of “The Scoop de Tiphanie” includes….
Want DAYS FILLED WITH YAY- The Easy Way??? That’s precisely, Best Selling Author, RADICAL, World’s #1 True Self for True Wealth Facilitator, Solo Practice Success Accelerator, Monetizer, Leverageable Win/Win Revenue Radical and Attorney Tiphanie Jamison, is inviting you to experience. As the founder of The YAY Me University™ her mission is to infuse YAY energy into life+ business with her “Never compete, just create” philosophy to generate multiple streams of Cash Flow + Wealth by establishing a distinctly unduplicatable category of 1 for which YOU ARE the Immediate and Only Authority-Harnessing the Power of 2 Psychological Principles + Leverage+ Automation; Seducing Your Prospects to Choose YOU by speaking directly to their emotional meta triggers through creating win/win situations, while Staying True to Yourself, Having a Boatload of Fun and Your Self-Respect remaining intact… without BS or Hype.
Referred to by her clients as the “Monetizer Bunny” and “Profit Princess”, she holds the #1 spot on Google and Bing for “Leverageable Income” without spending a cent on traffic or ads!
She’s pioneered the R.A.D. Success Model, (including The RAD Blaze 3-n-1 Success Suite), the #1 innovative fast track model for Solo Practice Service Professionals to create Profit Pulling Life Style Solo Practices in 90 days or less.
Her secret, the YAY B.L.A.S.T, helps solo practice service professionals create + expand multiple streams of leverageable, scalable, outsourceable, win/win income, that positions them as a generous industry trailblazer and boost their online presence. She is the Creator of the DEFINITIVE Solo Practice Success Test, which predicts the outcome of your Success as a Solo Practitioner; the Definitive Unique Selling Proposition Test for service professionals, at https://TheYayKey.com and the Definitive Financial Freedom Indicator- the Money Freedom Test at http://themoneyfreedomtest.com.
Author of 5 books, her book The RADICAL Self-Expert – The Fastest Simplest 7 Step Method to Discover How to Be Your True Self, Change Your Life Now and Be Happy Today!-The Easy Way was #1 on the Kindle Amazon Bestseller List for Self-Help/Self Esteem and #2 for Self-Help/Happiness. She has developed and created 2 definitive self-assessments- The True Self Test & The True to Self- Test.
Her formal education includes a Bachelors in Criminal Justice and Masters of Science in International Relations and a Juris Doctor. For a copy of her academic credentials, please send your request to Support@TheYayMeUniversity.com.
Tiphanie is a licensed attorney for the 9th Federal District and the State of California.
A personal/business development and entrepreneur renegade, a little bit quirky and more tomboy than she appears, Tiphanie’s profound intellect and vibrancy, make for an adventurous and imaginative environment, in which personal and business-growth are more delightful than difficult.
She is a fun, passionate, sports jock who celebrates her feminine curves, and loves soft rock music from the 70s and 80s.
Fun + Freedom + Money = YAY!!!
Click the Photo Below to Check Out My Welcome Video I Put Together….